The Fruits of My Labor

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Julie Kenward

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My blogpost for today:


I came up out of a pretty sound sleep around 4 o’clock this morning and, as I lay in bed drifting in and out, I started to think about photography. On the website, BirdPhotographers.net, I have been a member and moderator for the past two years. In all that time I’ve literally viewed hundreds of thousands of images submitted by thousands of people from all walks of life, all over the globe, at all different skill levels. I also follow different photographers on their daily blogs, check out their websites and galleries, and view their photos on their Facebook pages. Everywhere you turn these days there is another person with a camera, making and taking photos, and posting them for all of us to view and comment on.


I am but a small fish in this huge photographic sea of photographers. Actually, a better analogy would be that I am one of a hundred billion plankton floating around for the other fish to eventually gobble up. I do not do a lot of self-promotion, do not try to get other ‘famous’ photographers to notice my work, and tend not to worry about whether I will ever make a living at what I do when I have a camera in my hands. Occasionally, I think about trying to figure out how to create images that will sell commercially - but then I get distracted by a really pretty violet alone in a field of green grass and I get lost in what lies before me.


<O< p>I know a few people who are able to make a good living at this craft. I know a few more who are heading in that direction. I know many more that dream about it and work at it and get out there and do everything they can to make it happen. Lying in bed this morning I wondered why I didn’t feel that way – why I haven’t found that overwhelming desire to be up there with the photographic greats like Ansel Adams, Georgia O’Keefe, and Diane Arbus when I am so consumed with photography as a whole. Am I afraid of the competition? Afraid I don’t have the talent or skill? Am I unable to commit the time and money?


<O< p>It was then that I heard that little voice inside of me rise up. As I ventured in and out of lucidity I heard it whisper over the soft wind floating in through my raised bedroom window. “You’re not looking for fame and fortune,” it said, “you’re just looking to stay sane in an insane world.”


<O< p>Oh, how right that little voice was.


<O< p>Photography can be many things to many people. It can be a way of being seen by others as ‘special’ or ‘talented’ or even ‘genius’. It can be a means to an end – a lifestyle, a passion, a career. It can illuminate what you’re good at that otherwise would go unnoticed, such as spatial relationships or distinguishing between tonal differences. It can be an outlet for creativity that simply cannot be expressed in any other artistic medium. For me, though, photography has become the sum total of all that I am. It is where my heart and mind meet, where time is momentarily suspended, where I am everything I was ever supposed to be - and so much more. It is not just a passion, an art, or a hobby…it is who I am, what I am, and what I will one day become.


<O< p>We are the sum total of all we experience in life, are we not? So it goes to reason that if my life is spent sitting in fields of wildflowers as the wind dances through, or patiently waiting for that red-bellied woodpecker’s chicks to stick their heads out for their first bite of food, or watching the sunset dance across the undulating waves on a neighborhood lake, do these experiences not then become who I am? I believe they do. I believe that after three short years of constantly stopping to see what others dismiss or otherwise overlook – of immersing myself in the beauty of life so deeply that I lose all track of time – of getting down in the mud and muck and breathing in all the sweetness it has to offer – that I have changed who I once was into who I have now become.


<O< p>My goal is not to take photographs so I can win awards or be sponsored by one of the big camera outfits. I don’t pick up a camera every spare moment of my life because I am obsessed with creating the perfect image that will launch my career into the stratosphere. I certainly don’t do it so that my pride is appeased by all the “oohs” and “ahhs” of those who view my art.

I create, work at, process, and develop beautiful images because they, eventually, create a healthier, happier, more beautiful me; that is really all there is to it. I believe that this morning my little voice was trying to tell me that I can’t go looking for money, awards, and recognition and still find “art” buried beneath it all. One must first possess a beautiful spirit and that spirit will, in turn, make beautiful art. The rest will either follow - or it won’t.

<O< p>I guess what I’m trying to say is that I choose not to pursue photography for what it can get me; instead, I pursue it for what it gives me: peace of mind, fullness of heart, and a real sense of my place in this universe. It is true that I am but plankton in this gigantic sea of present-day photographers, yet I also know that this fact in no way demeans who I am as a person or belittles the art that I create. My vision is to create a life for myself that is as beautiful as the sum of my experiences and nothing more - and I have found I can do that most easily with a camera in my two hands.
 

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Jules, this is written so well, you make such valid points. That's how I feel most of the time, although I must admit that I fall into the trap of wanting to special more often than I want.
Photography means a lot to me too and is a way to channel all the creativity and energy that I have sometimes.
Sharing with others, as you do, it also one of the rewarding parts of it.
When I get people that have no clue about shutter speed or f stop in school, and after six weeks you see what they can produce, it gives you such great satisfaction, that makes getting an outstanding image yourself pale in comparison.
May you have the joy of photography for a long time and don't let the business side ruin it for you :)
 
Brava, Jules!

So eloquent. The eloquence of simplicity. And honesty.

Although you never used the word "spiritual," you just wrote a spiritual statement. Photography enables you to fill your soul with light.

You're not just chasing the light. You are the light.

As for my own spirituality, I'm wondering if that warbler could hold still for one freakin' second so I can get the shot.
 
Thank you, both, for your lovely comments. I do write "spiritual" pieces from time to time and they always feel different than the other things I write - and this one felt that way so I thought I'd share. I think all too often we go into this loving the creativity and then get consumed by website "hits" and what place we came in on the latest contest and I think it can be a slippery slope to losing the gift of photography if we aren't careful.

Fabs, I totally understand what you are saying about teaching - I hope some day I get the opportunity to teach as well - I've always found it to be so rewarding. And Lance, thank you for saying I am the light...I am most definitely NOT the light but I do try to reflect HIS light wherever I go so I take that as a very big compliment.

Enjoy your day, everyone. Spring has finally arrived!!!
 
Jules, This is so beautifully written. I feel that photography is another way to express ourselves and show the world our vision. You have a unique talent that no other person in this world has. You have the Jules effect. I told you a while ago that I thought you have a special talent to see things in a way that others cannot. I hope you continue to share your gift with all of us that are lucky enough to see the "Jules Effect':)
 
Denise, thank you for saying that. I am constantly in awe of your creativity and know that it is photographers such as yourself that have helped me find my way these past three years.
 
Thank YOU, Grace. Glad you stumbled upon it and it reverberated with you. ;)
 

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